Zombies Ate My Goldfish

On August 18th a force of unprecedented, incalculable and awe-inspiring magnitude shall be unleashed upon all of our feeble and fleshy thinking organs. I must warn you all for if you fail to properly prepare for and welcome this event you will be at very serious risk of having your face melted by its glimmering aura of awesomeness. My friends, this epoch shall forever be singed by the trail of devastating bliss that permeates from the celluloid that imprisons Snakes on a Plane (SoaP).

Many of you may not believe me, but when Samuel L. Jackson wants some motherfucking snakes off his motherfucking plane you’d best be braced for impact. A concept this simple and elegant may only appear once in a generation. SoaP represents the power of the audience to provide their desired form of visceral entertainment. The movie nearly lost its glorious title and R rating, thanks to the ravings of fans and the help of one of the true entertainers, Sam Jackson, this will hopefully see an end to the myriad of horrid PG13 crap that has be thrust insultingly into the faces of the faithful genre fans in recent years all in a play to capitalize on a larger audience for the price of bastardizing the art.

Known facts about this film:
1) There is a plane 30,000feet in the air
2) There are snakes on this plane
3) Samuel L. Jackson tazers a snake

That small list should at the very least raise a few curious eyebrows. When the lead actor joins a film, without reading a single page of the script, for the sole reason that it is called Snakes on a Plane you can guarantee there will be something fun about this movie despite whether or not it is actually any “good”. The future of the human species shall forevermore be genetically altered. There shall be the progeny of those whose parents gazed upon this wondrous sight in a theatre. These shall be the leaders of tomorrow and shall usher in an unprecedented renaissance of art and technology. They shall revitalize our planet and spread out and journey to the stars while listening to classic rock. Then there shall be those whose parents did not have to foresight to envision this invigorated future and decided not to see SoaP. Sadly these children shall be relegated to menial work such as sanitizing telephone receivers.

So as you can now clearly understand you must all pilgrimage to the nearest theatre and bask in the warm glow of Snakes on a Plane. Be yesterday’s men and women of tomorrow, today and treat yourself to some SoaP.

I’ve come to discover that summer just doesn’t pack the same punch that it used to. A time that was formerly associated with fun and a welcomed break from school is now just the opposite. Work is unsatisfying in just about every way leaving me to hope dearly that after the next couple years of school I’ll at least have a job that can keep me mildly entertained. On the school front it’s looking like UNB unless Acadia or MSVU open some spots on their waiting lists sometime soon. I’ve never really been to Fredericton before so it might not be so bad. Before I can register for classes I am obligated to attend an information session at the University. Most of the good classes are probably already filled at this point and the only one I can make it too is on July 8th, seems like searching for possible living space would also be a priority on the trip. Blah, figures that I’d have a good house and roommates in Wolfville yet no assurance that I can return there.

They’ve been getting me to do a lot of odd jobs at work this year when I’m not covering for one of the drivers. Usually they would just get me to split the driving workload. Perhaps this should be seen as a gateway to building an impressive array of skill sets. I’ve painted an office, cleaned a wall then painted it, swept and separated wood and wire scraps in the loading docks, used the forklift downstairs to shuffle the mild steel around, wandered aimlessly with a broom while trying to look busy because I had nothing else to do, collected and consolidated garbage from various shops, and most recently spent two days scrubbing filth and grime off of some sort of holding tanks. This last bit has been the least favorable outside of sweeping, though with today’s addition of a paint scraper to my inventory of tools great progress was achieved. However the sludge is still wining the war as basically noting short of scraping off the thin layer of paint below the grime is making much of a difference. The end goal is to have these things clean enough to paint, after two days of this busy work I think they should either break out the heavy industrial cleaning solvent or just paint over whatever is still there. Either way, at least for the next few days, none of this is my problem.

Phase 2 of bowling night was supposed to be the consumption of a DQ Treatza Pizza, this must take place tonight or tomorrow afternoonish I am told. So if you are around bored and have a desire to eat something that in all likleyhood is in no way good for you leave a message so things can get orginized.

Only that they are the most ferocious killers in the animal kingdom.

I tracked this one for about a half hour to avoid working on an essay. It was a formidable opponent, but it only tried to attack once. There was no escape from my tracking skills that I learned from watching Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter, a magnificent specimen indeed.



One more essay and an art project to go, two exams and I'm done on the 9th with a 31 day holiday, hopefully it will make up for my lack of summer vacation, but there may be Michelin in my near future. I could use some cash for christmas so I shouldn't complain.

Ah, once again it is time to start working. I always have trouble with getting the motivation to start work that doesn’t seem to be useful. I should have slept tonight for a couple of reasons. Number one on the list is that tomorrow is season opener for my Broomball team the Ice Capades. We will be playing a team that could easily be our main rival because they don’t seem to like our team since we knocked them out of the playoffs last year. It should be a very interesting game. The team has changed a lot this year, I get to be goalie from season start to end this year, we also have many new people who look like they could really help out our offense. We did lose a few people from last year so hopefully these new people stick around. I take this more seriously than I should, I enjoy playing because it’s fun, but I can be very competitive at times and being in net makes me feel like I have a lot of control and responsibility not to screw up. My far fetched goal is to have a season long shut out streak…. This would be tough, but I usually only averaged one goal against so I’ll stay optimistic. I also have hockey again this year… that is a reason to start exercising, we won the first game by default because the other team did not show up, first real game is on Thursday. If I manage to do anything useful at all in that game I will be impressed. Mission one is to get through the game without feeling like grim death.

Stupid homework is only a 500 word article review worth 5% of a full year course. It needs to be done, but I have no real desire to start. No class until 1:30pm, assignment not due until 7pm.

I really need to start managing my time better; I was hoping not to procrastinate so much this year.

On the upside of things I’ve somehow managed to only have 2 winter exams to write, so I should be having a 31ish day Christmas vacation this year.

his is a work in progress still life for my digital art class.

My goal is to obliterate everyone else. I've never done any 3d modeling before so it has been both fun and frustrating. We are using freeware so it's probably a bit limited. Every time I stop working and save it seems to delete itself by the next time I open it to work, so I've been saving a different file every time I make a change just to limit the amount of work a lost save would make for me. Right now I'm trying to figure out lighting and materials, the rendering program is having issues rendering light through transparent objects. I know it can so some sort light through glass effects, and my settings look right, but still just annoying.

I've been procrastinating on most real work, but I haven't really had much to begin with. I'm going back to Michelin next Friday for one shift, at least that will pay for going to see Serenity at the theatre. Seems next month I will start to have more to do. I'll be volunteering at the school again and intramurals will be started, going to play hockey again which might be a bad idea since I can barley see on the ice due to having to use old glasses, only time I ever want contacts. Broomball should be a blast and the team is looking really solid, might get some basketball in there too, so good times.

As promised here is the infamous exploding whale video. The whale weighed around 8 tons and none other than the Oregon Highway Division was placed in charge of the removal. Their idea was to use around a half ton of TNT to disintegrate it. It has to be seen to be believed. The story takes place on Nov. 12, 1970. Here is a site about it that includes some comments from Dave Barry.

My two days off were quite uneventful. Much chicken was devoured, and there was rejoicing. Today I actually ended up having to go to work for a couple hours to attend a risk analysis meeting. This is because I knocked and emergency light off of a wall, there was also a girl who knocked a 450 power outlet off of a wall which cut the lights in a section of the plant for an hour. I guess there have been a few forklift mishaps recently so they got the two students who broke crap to talk about causes and preventable measures. Basically neither of us were remotely in any trouble but received some overtime pay to talk about safety.

So basically knocking down that light will result in food while I'm at school. Of course in University all forms of currency require one to consider the exchange rate between the dollar and the delicious. It's a very rich and delicate tapestry.

with any luck the hot tub will be installed before I have to go back to school. My dad has started on the cement blocks, using a form to build the patio rather than pre bought so we need to wait for that to cure than get an electrician to come and install some new lines.

Seems I haven't updated in longer than I thought. I went to my place in Wolfville for a few days at the end of last month. Many a misadventure was had. I've decided to move junk up there in stages so as to make the final move as easy as possible. I put up a few more posters, still need a bunch more to get rid of all the whitespace. Took the turntable and some records, the amp, turntable, and eq are old and crappy so more tinkering is needed as I couldn't get the volume levels as loud as they were when I had it set up here, probably should have taken note of how the wires were plugged in before ripping them all out. I think the bulk of what is left to move is dvds and cloths, might take my bed from home or just get a new one. The one there is a bit iffy.

Spook also came to Wolfville which made things more fun, Duncan revealed that he owned a drat board which I made him bring down to the living room to hang... needless to say the wall is now filled with many holes. The drive in was pretty amusing, I hit every green light in New Minas and just as I got to Wolfville fire works started exploding in the air. I can only assume that it was a celebration of my long awaited return..hail to the king and all..... or something to do with the Mud Creek Festival, either way a nice way to make an entrance.

Other things that happened (in no particular order of occurrence)
-Spook and Bryant waited for me to arrive to photograph the first shots from their Crown Royal Texas Mickey which was to be consumed in 24hrs
-Party at the house, talked with Darby about random people from elementary - high school that seem somewhat obscure now, played guitar on the porch, and was introduced to Sam the Chinese Newfie
-Drunk Bryant testing the strength of the porch railing and cracking it badly while refusing to stop bouncing on it as "a 2m fall backwards would not be too serious"
-Went to see Wedding Crashers with Holly and Lindsey which resulted in an awesome sub-adventure with kick ass loot which shall hopefully adorn the roof of the house for frosh week, seriously uber cool but under wraps to keep Jeff from knowing about it until he gets in from Toronto... mind explosion cool
-Played some poker which I barley know how to play, but I did manage to win a couple big hands before losing interest and joining the party on the porch
-leaving for home really late at night then getting flagged down in the middle of nowhere to change a flat tire, which should get more elaboration

I had left the house some time after 1:30am and only made it to New Minas before I realized that I forgot my cell phone and had to go back. Started the drive home for the second time and was starting to get a bit tired. As mentioned I got flagged down by a couple girls in a green VW Bug who got a flat tire. They were one their way home to Digby which was something like 3 hours away so they couldn't call anyone to come get them. I have fixed a few car related things in my time, but never a flat tire so it was kind of fun, the damn lug nuts were not very corporative they were special ally wheels so they thought that they might have anti theft bolts after looking at the manual. The secret was to jump on the wrench and ignore the sounds that sounded like everything breaking. the jack was weird too, couldn't figure it out at first then they gave me the handle extension which had been tossed aside because they didn't know what it was, car go up, tire off, then new tire on and more jumping and ignoring, free cookie, more very tired driving, sleeping at the carpool for a while and home sometime much later than expected. I'm really lucky the car even got me home.

The car had an appointment to go to the garage that day, where every time they fix something they reveal several more problems. Basically they changed they oil and when I went back to get it the car would not start (which was related to a problem we knew about but couldn't have looked at until the next week) So the car was left there and they were able to look at it sooner than the previous appointment, but no it needs break work, the engine service light is on, and god knows what else but at least know its reliable enough to start when the key is turned. No more Luck of the draw and playing the waiting game.

I got to listen to the finished mastered tracks of the the first Acrisis EP Cover-Ups and Tragedies (my bros band) it's fucking great, pounding beats lots of energy, great guitar work, and the new guy can really sing and unlike any other dedicated singer they had as tenpennydime this guy can write his own lyrics which frees up Joe to write the music and mix. They found someone on deviant art to draw art for the CD case and I guess she nailed Joe's descriptions of what he wanted right on, all B&W inks and it looks great. I get a photography credit and a link to Gorillafish put in the jacket too, I guess i need to actually update that site more. They sent it off for reproduction so they should arrive end of August to early September, they will be on sale somewhere in halifax, I forget where though, maybe Sam's or something I think I heard.



ugh... now it is far too late and I am not particularly tired yet, I really need to get the hang of this "sleep" thing, I've got like three shiny gold star stickers for staying awake, but it's good to have diverse abilities....

It seems that my favorite quote is actually a modified Carlin quote.

I found it years ago with no source credited in a program called Zen:

"Given the proper element of surprise, a goldfish could beat the crap out of a gorilla."

the original is:

"Unbelievably, a goldfish can kill a gorilla. However, it does require a substantial element of surprise." - George Carlin

it seems to be more popular than I thought, but I may be the only one who believes that it is true.

My brother's band is no longer Tenpennydime. They picked up the lead singer of Hadrian Seven and have formed Acrisis. They've recorded an EP and it's up for pre-order now at their website: www.acrisis.com

go check out the site!!

My mom and sister along with my grandparents will be returning to the house after 2 weeks in BC tonight. The good thing about this is I will once again have the occasional good meal thrown my way, the bad thing is the house is going to be filled beyond the capacity of which it is meant for. This means everyone will have a headache. Oh well. At the very least I get 3 days of no work.

I went into work this morning on about 2 hours of sleep. Didn't have time for breakfast either so it was a long day. I redeemed my free Coke with lime voucher at Irving after work, they really don't have anything to brag about.

I'm feeling sleepy and adventurous. perhaps I will take on the perilous challenge to cleaning up my room.... but can I succeed where so many have failed before, those many mostly being just me actually. An Indiana Jones marathon seems like a good idea too.

a couple pictures from the backyard:

was bored tonight so I recorded this; guitar music and such


and as a side note 10 points to anyone who remembers what this is

Wow. What a great storm last night, the lightining was non stop like strobe lights for a while before the big chain bolts started. crazy stuff. I got some good pictures thanks to no rain at the time and the fact that the bolts were huge.



( Bigger better pics )

It turned out not to be as sunny and ridiculously hot on my days off as I thought it might have been so I didn't bother to go to the beach, but there were other adventures to be had.

I am now able to walk without a limp again and there is only pain in the injured toe when bending it in a way that wouldn't happen while walking so things are much better there.

Day 1:
I slept in very late. I think until 4pm. I then quested for food in the kitchen. As luck would have it there were some chocolate chip cookies that combined rather well with milk to provide me sweet sustenance. The watching of discovery channel and TMN followed. As I became increasingly bored I decided to rummage through the attic to search for junk to take to my place in Wolfville. I found my old desk lamp, it's one of the ones with a built in magnifying glass. It actually couldn't even attach to my old behemoth of a desk that I had at that time, the part that clamps it to the desk is lost or broken so I must find a way to MacGyver it up and make it useful. My old bedstand was also in the attic, the drawers are broken so I need to get some glue and fix those. I was then distracted by some lego for a while before grabbing the old turntable and deciding to finally look into finding a needle for it. This turntable has seen better days, but I knew the motor still worked and that led me to think that all would be fine.

Getting the needle turned out to be inconceivably simple. I found some websites that had a visual stylus(needle) identification guide and was able to locate the one I needed on the Radioshack site. I have conflicting feelings about Radioshack. I like the Idea of a shack filled with electronic goodies, but in reality they mark things up so bad that I never actually go there to buy anything. I decided to try the Bridgewater store, not really expecting them to have it. They had exactly 2 needles and on was the one I needed. Huzah....but to obtain the very tiny piece of plastic and metal I had to dish out $33 or something along the lines. Then I deposited some rent money and went to the dollar store for some wires. I was now theoretically in possession of everything I needed to play a record. The power amp and EQ gave me worries as to how well they would work as I hadn't used them since junior high. For one thing the main volume lever has problems and cracks out on occasion. I got everything working, just at a volume level that was worthlessly low. I ran the computer through the setup and it was quite loud. So wither the turntable was messed up or I set it up poorly. The latter was true and with the addition of an extra pair of RCA cables to the equation I was able to get everything working and listened to records for the rest of the night highlighted by Police - Synchronicity, Queen - Jazz, and ELO's greatest hits. ELO has quickly become on of my very favorite bands.

That night my dog also threw up what appeared to be about to cans worth of unchewed wet dog food. We don't feed them that so I suspect it was something my grand parents set out for the neighborhood dog Lola who's wealthy owners neglect the hell out of it and leave it to wander around. The need to clean that took the fun of the day down a notch.

Day 2:

More sleeping in, but not as late. Made a decent lunch and watched TV before heading to town to get a haircut and guitar strings. I also had to drop a CD of band photos I took for my bro at crescent beach last week, there were some pretty decent shots in there along with some that I should have actually aimed the camera before snapping.

I hate Strings and Things, that store agitates me and I dislike having to go there. I finally got a high E for my CL-1000 and since I snapped that same string on my martin I got a set of Tomastic Infeld Spectrum strings. They were my brand of choice for my old A&L as they seemed to hold up really well through alternate tuning and not lose sound quality over time so fast. Since I've had the martin I've only bought the exact Martin strings and gauge that it came with. I used to always get mediums but stopped because I'm not sure if that's part of the reason why my ol' Blue A&L is basically dead now - or at least unplayable. I'll have to string them up tomorrow. I did mess around with the electrics for a while, the same amp and eq that run the turntable have guitar inputs and it sounded better than I expected it too, I left my fender in Wolfville and don't really like how it sounds anyway.

I've also been having a reoccurring daydream that the Michelin Man is trying to eat my soul by extracting it with a straw. I figure that is how he keeps his youthful looks.


I work day shift thursday and then have Canada day off with another day shift Saturday. Not sure what I'll end up doing, maybe a movie or take more junk to Wolfville. No work Sunday either so all in all a pretty slack week.

now the question of what to do now...movie, read, or sleep to be awake for work.

I have a very bad habit of not sleeping when I really should. This will be the last shift of a 2 week work stint before I get a 3 day break in which I will mostly be doing yard work. Almost got to woke late yesterday by getting stuck behind slow cars and for some reason there were no open parking spots, I also woke up a bit late and didn't have time to eat anything except a multivitamin and tap water to was it down with no glass as a middleman to slow things down. I've been getting pretty groggy at work as I'm have trouble finding reasons to be chipper. Left work at midnight, went to Irving where I was given a treasure trove of cruise in to win sticker books, I even won a 12oz hot beverage! Things were looking up. Got home made some food, gave a scrap of hamburger to the dog, then it wouldn't stop bugging me, watched some discovery channel and movie network, then some internet, still wasn't tired blah blah blah now it's soon time to go to work again and I haven't slept and feel like I could use a dozen or so hours. the only answer is to nap for 30 minutes then binge eat whatever food I can before I leave.

and now to brighten up my post a picture I took

Good storm, I tried to get some pictures but I think only one bolt came out, I should figure out how to get better results for the next time...I really wanted the power to go out. That is always the best for lightning storms.

Not much new lately as I've not really had a break from work since the sunday before last, but at least I have another 3 day weekend coming up starting this Friday.

Picked up the new Bruce Campbell book which should be a good read, also got the Waterworld DVD and was heartbroken at my inability to find a copy of The Postman. I think that may have been my first time venturing into the mall outside of Zellers since I've been back home. It seems like half of the place is now a dollar store, but cd plus moved and now has a better dvd section so all is decent.

I went up to Wolfville for my last long weekend and began the process of moving into my room of the house. The bed that is there sucks so it looks like I'll have to either find a better one there or truck mine from here to there, one thing is clear moving out of this place will be a pain in the ass. This is because I always bring the most useless junk with me to make the place feel more homey. Random junk will be good for the very easily distracted me and will help me to hide incase a large land predator of some sort gets into the house. I put together a dvd shelf and a reclining leather chair while there and started to put up posters. The room has the much unliked white walls, and without black curtains to be like the song that is no fun. The goal it to fill up the majority of the wall space that is above waist level since I don't want the furniture to trash my posters. I will need many more posters to get this done. I'm thinking about trying to draw up some snazy poster sized images in photoshop and seeing how much it would cost to have them printed. I really want to start doing serious drawing more often and need to stop being lazy about it.

I want to get a wacom tablet soon, the things cost an arm and a kidney though. I guess I should start scouting out eBay for some deals.


01. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal!

Not sure who out of anyone who might read this I've told about my street light paranoia, but I've had another night that reaffirms my belief. For some unknown reason no matter where I go at night at least one streetlight will turn off as I pass or approach it. I cannot explain it, but it never fails.

Tonight as I was driving home it happened 3 times. It is one of those tiny things that when you actually think about it can't really have anything to do with you, but I refuse to do that and continue to let this irritate the hell out of me. At least I haven't tried to pick a fight with one of the lights yet - that would be going a bit too far.

on a side note I bought this:


being a consumer whore is grrrrrrrate! which segues into the fact that the man who was the voice of Tony the Tiger died.

So close to being finished, frig I’ve had my fill of essay writing and exams. All that stands between me and home is a pesky Caribbean Literature exam on Friday which might prove to be semi-horrible. I’m just really tired and want a break, so it kind of sucks that the afternoon after I get back I’ll be back at Michelin. This makes me unsure of when my first actual break will be, and when ever it happens to be I will most likely have to make a trip up to my place in Wolfville to bring more of my stuff home. I really hope I have Apple Blossom weekend off because a bunch of people are getting together up her again which would be fun, hopefully less rainy than last year. I’m going to have to end up seeing the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie sometime too.

Right now I’m in the process of carrying all of my possessions from residence over to the house, at least it’s not too far away and the hill for the most part doesn’t come into play. I really wonder why I have so much junk here, I guess I just like to use up whatever space I have.

Goal for the summer = go to the beach at least once. I don’t think I got to the beach at all last summer, and I didn’t get to go skating all year either so it’s a little annoying.

Backing up this laptop has been fairly annoying; I’m running out of CDs. I think I’ll have to invest in an external HD soon, need a Wacom tablet too.

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Crazy ol’ humanity
“SYDNEY (AFP) - Some of the thousands of Australians who flocked to Turkey's Anzac Cove to commemorate their war dead were reportedly outraged when Australian organisers of the ceremony played the Bee Gees' hit song "Stayin' Alive.”

Gorillafish.com: For that smooth kicked in the face feeling!